But I do remember my teen years. Starting in middle school, when it really started to matter if you fit in or not. It's the time in your life you realize most what class your parents are in financially. The time when what you're wearing starts to make you a target people want to shoot for or a target that's going to be aimed at. You've grown up watching all the Disney movies about Princesses and their handsome Prince and you're oddly trying to find that in your life now. Laughable I know. But relationships with boys were getting serious and the dream was finding the one who you met in school and married.
I remember that time of my life being right there on the edge of greatness! My single mother had married just a few years before and we were a two income household for the first time. I was an awkward elementary school character. The tallest girl in my class and much of my school I felt like I stood out only for that and the minimally cool clothes my mom could buy. But now in middle school, I didn't have to shop as often at Kmart for clothes and venturing into the mall, especially JCP made me feel like I could be at Princess status any day.
One day, the clothes stopped making a difference. My friends turned on me for rumors being spread and one day I was with the popular kids and the next day - there was no way I was sitting with them at lunch any more. Suddenly I was that girl back in 3rd grade when the boys made fun of my hair and I was invisible to everyone except my family and best friend. I was angry and confused and the loser I thought I'd never be again.
A few years passed and high school was a fresh start. New friends, new style, new groove and a new me. I had new faces to mingle with and since I had taken Latin at the high school during 8th grade, I already knew several people as I entered as a freshman in 9th. I was kind of cool again.
And lucky for me, even though I was quieter in general, my confidence grew. I started to like who I was and saw a really great future ahead of me. I did well in school, had lots of friends and very few people who made me feel bad about myself. But I sure didn't where the crown yet.
Man! I hate/d that! Being called a princess. I let no one in my life use that word to describe me without stern correction. Don't call me a princess. My fingernails stay in poor condition, I have scars from tools and projects I've worked on and my hair is rarely ever the gorgeous drape that a princess would surely have.
But what I DO have is...Courage. Each day facing a bully in middle school. Each insult that affected me for the rest of my life. Each punch in the gut when I messed up something and the consequences have left me in full turmoil. Running through my adulthood, I've had to look fear in the face more times then I can count.
Sometimes I wasn't so courageous but on those days, there was always a sacrifice to be made and the will to see it through. There was always a chance to make two or three decisions before proceeding. There have ALWAYS been folks who give me complete opposite advice and then scathe when I don't take their suggestions and use them.
Attempts to be successful have taken courage as well. It's not easy moving a thousand miles away from everything you know and love to take a promotion. It's not easy to make job changes that impact not only you and your family, but the team you've built within your company. Learning a new type of business has taken me to a different level of bravery. Working retail my entire life and then adding direct sales to my skill set put obstacles and questions in my mind that I never dreamed. I've always been the 'retail robot'. Doing exactly what my company asked and working to grow within the guardrails. As a direct sales entrepreneur, I'm my own boss and my team looks to me as a mentor, not a manager. It was a frightening experience for a while.
There's sooooo much in between the lines of this story. More than I could write in a day. But, last night it came to me that we work tirelessly as women to find our inner Princess and where that sparkling crown. We want the glory and the love story and the hair and of course - dresses! But those aren't the things that get us through life are they? They're somewhat of the icing on the cake. And they make for exciting days to look upon in reflection. But what they haven't given us is the ability to walk forward through life, even when it is devastating.
A friend of mine gave me a gift about a year ago of a Courage Key. She knew I was struggling after a personal tragedy followed quickly by a car accident that flipped my life upside down. She told me that as much as she admired me, she knew right now that this was the time I needed courage. To hold on and go on. The necklace has an old used key stamped with the word COURAGE and when it's time, I'm to give it to another who may need it to hold on to. I greatly cherish this gift more than she knows.
So moms - grandmas - friends. Start having the conversations with your young ones about their brave heart. Stop letting the fairy tale guide them, they need to know that while magic happens many times in their lives, it's usually when they've faced the most risk and the most difficult challenges with fight that they find that magic. It's not found in the dress, or the sparkling objects laid before them or even purchased by them. Even glass slippers can shatter. But going to the ball and having the dance of their life is what moves them to true happiness because they were courageous.
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